Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
