Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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