i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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