I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
