Why are handjobs necessary in class?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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