So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
