my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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