Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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