I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Green mimosas i think yes
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
