wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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