member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
