I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
