Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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