so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
