we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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