I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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