dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
