i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
