He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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