No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
