you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
