I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
