4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
