3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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