hotel room ftw
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
