It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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