The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
