I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
