I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
