I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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