i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
