Your tits are I can't wait for
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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