Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
