That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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