I'm gonna have a badass scar
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
