I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
