does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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