nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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