I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
