I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
