my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
