He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
did i just pee glitter
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
