I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
