So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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