this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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