Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
