My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
