he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
