Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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