Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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