Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
