jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
