He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
